My stepmom gave birth to a baby boy last night.Now I have five biological siblings,a stepbrother,and now a half brother.

I don't know what to think frankly,first thought that comes to mind is I get no attention from my father as is and I have to share him with another sibling.My hatred of his mother isn't helping either..I keep telling myself that the baby has done nothing wrong that I shouldn't hate it.

But dammit this woman took my father away from my family then I get him back for a very short while and she took him away again..Now this baby is going to keep him away from me..

I know I'm being selfish but I haven't felt loved by my father in over a year and a half.The day before he left is the last time I felt like he cared... As stupid as it sounds I just want my daddy to love me again.I've been trying so damn hard and now that baby is gonna make it so it's all in vain. As horrid as it sounds everytime I think of that baby I imagine myself picking it up and throwing it.Why?

Because if I hurt the baby it'd hurt my stepmom too it'd hurt my dad but he's hurt me so much lately that I don't care.

I didn't go to the hospital to see the baby cause if my stepmom looks at me wrong I'm scared I might snap...I've been having some rather violent thoughts and dreams involving her lately...including that baby scenairio.

I know I should be happy but I can't help but feel a mixture of anger and pain.He left my family and replacing us with a new one...Why weren't we good enough ya know? What did I do wrong?

He ran off and married this woman who is only eight years older then I am...He's twelve years older then her...It's causing me a lot of loathing torwards someone who as of right now is inoccent.

Yes I'm in thearpy and yes I have told her these things she suggested staying away from dad all together..But I can't do that I love my dad...and I'll proabaly learn to love my half brother but right now the thought is unfathomable.

Also after watching the birth of five others a new baby looses it's thrill.